It’s no surprise that I enjoy the occasional Sci-Fi flick… no matter how bad. Enter Starship Troopers. This movie was horribly done, full of bad actors and a plot that a three-year-old could write. But I loved it and still don’t know why. In fact, I’ve watched it many times since its original release.
Last night revealed to me the reason behind my attraction to this awful film. In a moment of peril and sheer panic, I discovered that my fascination with this film was preparing me all along for the events that occurred as I prepared to get my winks on. Just as my head hit the pillow, a piercing buzz sound traveled with perfect acoustics across my brow. What was this demon beast, and would I survive its ill intent?
As any man brave enough to embrace the task would do, I darted for my iPhone 6 (yeah… I’m cheap like that), swiped up, and hit the flashlight button all in one smooth and suave motion. There, smiling back at me with the most sinister of grins was a menacing mosquito, perched on my wall right next to my CPap machine (yeah… I’m that dorky too).
We both froze in place, knowing perfectly well that only one of us could prevail in a standoff so intense that it would make Doc Holliday shake in his boots. As I began my encroachment on his post, he seemed to flinch in a mockingly fashion; his attempt to wink at me given he had no eyelids. It was then that I made my move. To Hell with him and the wings he rode in on. I would not be made a fool by this spawn of evil. I charged forward with what felt like the power of ten demigods behind me, screaming (in my mind, because my wife was trying to sleep) “you shall not pass!”
After the dust settled and I came to, I scoured the vicinity high and low, knowing that his rotting little carcass was near. But where? He had vanished like Obi Wan Kenobi, only unlike Obi, this little creature was a soldier of the Dark Side. He had transformed into a Force Spirit and left me sulking in bewilderment and defeat. It was over. And unlike in Starship Troopers, the bad guy had won. And on top of this depressing defeat came a glare from my wife like no man has ever seen.
So why did I feel the need to share this tale with you? I don’t even know. I just thought it was a good story and wanted to mix it up. So maybe that’s the lesson of the allegory. Just to mix it up from time to time. I mean, how many technological advancements do you really want to hear from me anyway? Wait… don’t answer that!
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