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Writer's pictureGeekly Gary

Why Do Printers Hate Us Humans So Much?



At first glance, you may think I am trying to be clever with the title of this post. Nope. I’ve just always hated printers. Office printers. Home printers. I even hate 3D printers... though I’ve never met one. And sure, this is a time when we should be trying to let go of anything in our lives that causes us distress. But that just doesn’t work with printers. They are as necessary as motor oil in a car. Wings on an airplane. Hot dogs on The Fourth of July. The difference is, those things all do their jobs. And they do them well.

Not printers, though. Oh no. They are going to get jammed. They are going to lose a signal. They are going to distort your prints. They are going to lose a connection with your computer. They are going to cause your print queue to back up. I cannot tell you how many printers I’ve had to fix at work (outside of the job responsibilities in my contract, mind you).

It seems like I’ve purchased one new printer every two years for our home. And before you try to give me any advice on the best printer or what I’m doing wrong, just know that I’ve heard it all. I’ve read it all. I’ve tried it all. I have no loyalty to any brands. But what I can tell you is that I am done with HP. If you’ve ever seen the movie Office Space, then you will know exactly what I am about to do with this piece of crappie (That one was for my fishing buddies. Yeah, I fish. What’s it to ya?)

So, what am I to do? Do I really need to go get a job at one of the parent companies of these garbagely (yes, I know this isn’t a word, but meesa mad) manufactured so-called printers? Honestly. How can our cell phones operate almost flawlessly in comparison? Even our tablets and laptops don’t give us this much trouble.

So, I’ve decided, for me and my family... that we are done with printers. We are moving into the woods to live off the grid until some hardware engineer gets up out of his chair, goes to the window, opens it, and sticks his head out, and yells: I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!” And then he fixes them for all of time.

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